S.A.C. Songwriting and Blogging Challenge, Week 1 (Continued) Tweaking (Not Twerking!!!)

I'm constantly going back to make adjustments to my lyrics, especially once I try to put them to music and try to perform them.  This involves trying to find the right phrasing and weeding out the words that don't "sound right".  Also, it's where I experiment with moving verses around.  Here's the latest version of "In A Perfect World", I've added a coda;

 

In a perfect world,

We would all be equal,

No one would be labeled rich or poor.

Money would be as free as breathing

But in a perfect world,

Could I love you more?

 

In a perfect world,

Everyone is friendly,

It's a place where no one ever locks the door

We would take only what we need

But in a perfect world,

Could I love you more?

 

Our love has built a bond between us,

 From every trial faced along the way.

And it's getting stronger every day.

 

In a perfect world,

We wouldn't have to worry,

What the years ahead of us have in store.

All our plans would come together

But in a perfect world,

Could I love you more?

 

It's not a perfect world,

But I love you to its core.

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